Incredible tales shoot

in the 70s i slept with this guy and got caught by his wife who commited suicide in front of us and became a vengeful ghost thereafter.
got to see mcorp's gore effects tricks.
and one of the crew dudes was very attractive.

i just finished watching nana2 the movie, sequel to nana the movie.
it technically isn't a lesbian love story because the girls date/marry/sleepwith men/boyfriend/husband.
but it ended like a lesbian love story. and made me cry.

End-of-sem show / 缘之烩 shoot

yesterday was the end-of-sem show for adm film students.

feedback about my docu project (sardine talks to children) was mainly that it was: scary.
quote my prof beethiam: "scared."
most of the questions people asked me after were actually quite annoying.
annoying because they were asked by happy cushioned people who were so intrigued by my situation because it was so new and bewildering to them that they wanted to know more about it.
but i wouldn't tell them more of course, because:
1. i didn't make this docu to connect with people from happy families. and vice versa.
2. the appearance of my situation is only a supporting factor to the actual discourse which i think most people overlooked in the shock of my situation. my situation isn't really what i want to discuss here.
what i really wanted to say with sardine talks to children is:
people from happy families just don't get it/can't fathom it and when you do tell them they give standard moral advice/comments that don't apply and basically just make you wanna spit. and that people from fucked up families are adorable.
the end.
i know my docu prof likes it cos of stuff he's been saying to me recently. it's growing on him i can tell.
and it's kinda cute how i've gotten him all awkward and grinny around me ever since the first time i showed him the docu because he's the sort of moral-happy-familish type of guy and it totally stunned/gaped him initially.
i like this prof now. (i so didn't when he gave me a D for editing class)
very pleased with the documentary class and i wish him karma.

and amazingly guanghui was at the end-sem show too.
turned out he was invited by jaymz.
and was lincoln's acting instructor from some tcs kids camp 10 over years ago.
i didn't know guanghui knew jaymz or lincoln.
guanghui didn't know i knew jaymz or lincoln.
jaymz or lincoln didn't know that guanghui and i knew each other.
jaymz or lincoln didn't know that each other knew guanghui.
my point is that we're all connected so i have to remember to not be rude.

today was my first shoot day for 缘之烩.
some singapore/china collaboration with michelle chia, chen hanwei and china actors.
i'm acting as an assistant director in the show.
nothing exciting.

yesterday and today were free food days too.
yesterday: all food sponsored by end-sem show.
today: lunch sponsored by gramps. snacks (aka dinner) sponsored by cousins' mother.
i keep mentioning free food days not simply cos they are free food days.
but because free food days show that i am in a state of having alot more in my life than just free food.

Blame the australian director

everyone's bitching about the
mda's upper management rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nngYqmulLJI
but i've got a soft spot for the mda.
mainly because they are paying $23000 of my school fees.
and once gave me $7500.
and i do actually know personally some of the uncles and aunties rapping in that video.
and they are actually really nice people.
nice people that come up to you to encourage you and give you a pat on the back when you've earned it and introduce you to important people and give you money.
so it kinda irks me that all these people are bashing the mda on youtube.
because seriously, the mda will help you alot if you'll just be polite to them.
and you can't blame the guys for not being able to rap.
that's like laughing at a chef for failing to do somersaults while frying.
blame the scriptwriter. and the australian director for not covering it up.
the tune is actually pretty good.
if the management guys had just spoken professionally and not danced, it may have worked.
concept was good but execution sucked.
blame the australian director.
especially if he's that one that i had to slave for at one commercial shoot.
that australian guy that demands chilled beer served to him on set all day long and coffee at a specific taste and temperature and starbucks coffee when we're shooting at the jurong industrial region.
blame him.
and i hope he never gets to work in singapore again.

I'm done for the semester

that exam yesterday was the last one.
so i'm done.
(actually i do have one more exam on monday: business finance
but i'm not going for that cos maths is so not my thing and i don't even have a non-phone calculator anymore
and i did s/u it so let's just pretend it never happened)

the thing i'm doing now is editing the iro video.
which is more difficult for me than you think.
cos it's a happy happy pro pro video.
and i'm all dark clouds and brutality...
but i must i must i must.
cos the iro has been so bloody nice to me, i'd cry if they became unhappy with me.

wendy from the iro msged me yesteday saying we should go eat lunch sometime.
when i called her back i found out it was cos she's leaving iro.
women around me keep leaving.
there was (from childhood) my maid, then my mother, then daphne, then doris, then lian, then meixian, then my cousin's maid, (from secondary and jc) peiyi, lisha, ada, (2002-2005) luanne, melvenie, joyce, sakura, pat, my mother again, (this year) jen, lillian, jesedy, the 2 mcorp aps, and now wendy.
strangely i can't think of a single man that has left.
there was jeremy in 2003 i guess, but he's gay, so it's not quite the same.
oh. there is one guy who left me.
mark. whom i gave my first kiss to. he died in 2002.
sigh. whatever will be will be.

Because i have an exam tomorrow

i just watched 8 episodes of shomuni 1 this afternoon.
8 hours not studying.
i've gone beyond mugging to death for exams.
i don't even study at all anymore.
cos i don't care. cos
1. i can no longer remember any of what i slaved to remember for my A'levels 6 years ago
2. nobody in the working world gives a damn about your individual module grades (at least not in my industry)
3. i'm already going on exchange next year so i don't need a good gpa for anything else
4. i know i won't fail. i have enough little smarts to get me to pass. i won't do excellent that's all.
but like i said: i no longer care.
i'm too old to believe that getting an A in school means anything tangible.
it just boosts your ego that's all. and pleases your parents.
but i think i'd gain more joy from 8 hours of watching makiko esumi strut around arrogantly than getting an A.
and i don't have parents.
so what if i get an A? so what if i dont?
nothing.

Yaay ah beng

my spate of procrastination and therefore movie watching continued over the past 2 days with:
1. eye10 (hk) - nothing special regular bla bla.
2. 13beloved (thai) - fab fab fab. loved.
3. 15 (sg) - loved too. left me with a soft spot for ah bengs.
4. superfans (hk) - not nice. standard bla bla.

i'm so pro-ahbeng now because of 15.
i find them adorable.
like today, i was buying lunch at a kopitiam.
the ah beng that collected my money said "谢谢小姐"
the ah beng beside him said "不应该叫小姐是美女"
so my ah beng said "oh对hor是美女"
(i didn't respond)
the other ah beng said "你讲得不够明显美女当然没有反映啦"
my ah beng, louder "谢谢美女"
(i nodded, took my food and left)
thought it was kinda sweet/cute of them because
i stayed over in school last night to work, didn't bathe, didn't brush teeth, basically looked quite like shit and probably smelled like it too.
and yet they still called me "美女".
no englishy bigot will ever do that to you.
they'd criticise your standards of hygiene and try not to stand near you.
hooray for ah bengs.
somehow they are just less judgemental and are more accepting of whatever.
and to those who think you're of a higher class cos you behave all ang mo -
you're still just a chink to the white guys.

我愛你一萬年!!!

i feel very fat, bleaugh and icky.
possibly from the stress of the undone iro video that is due on monday.
that i have already been paid for. and haven't started work on.
there's this strange crawling sensation up my arms now.

anyway today i acted in 新加坡屋顶下.
i'm a reporter in the show who goes to cover the case of a guy that died from an ah long (brutal illegal moneylender) attack.
they actually built an actual funeral tent with everything from peanuts and lotus seeds on the tables to the full set of buddhist prayer items to shoot.
the actors in my scene today were chen liping, huang wenyong and alot alot alot of old people like yinzhu etc. i don't know their names but they are definitely recognisable elderly tv veterens.


the assistant producer today was this girl i knew from another show as a production assistant.
that makes her the 2nd ch8 production person i know to have been promoted.
(and a vague indicator of how long i've been doing this)
i was talking to her and another ap (not at the same time) and they both told me that their job is frightful and they nearly cry almost every other day.
a few of them just resigned cos they couldn't take the horror no more.
gosh.

anyway because i've had an exam and alot of other bleaugh due this week, i have been watching alot of movies due to my procrastinating nature.
in the past 3 days i watched :
1. gia (hbo) - * yuck american cliche, the only thing that kept me watching was angie
2. uzumaki (jap) - *** bad story but beauty everywhere
3. chinese tall story (hk) - ***** my fav of the bunch, laughed loads cried abit enjoyed alot. liked buddha's teachings and now want to explore buddhism more
4. love my life (jap) - **** quite liked, a very quotable movie.
5. raise the red lantern (china) - ***** bitch-witch galore i like

because of the chinese tall story now i keep wanting to scream
我愛你一萬年!!!
我愛你一萬年!!!
我愛你一萬年!!!
but there is no magic in my life.

7am i woke

and with 3 hours sleep the night before, i spent the day annoying/disappointing beautiful women.
i wish i didn't but i was just too sleepy to save myself.
i can't even be bothered to explain myself here.
because i want to sleep. now.
today i went to little india, plaza sing, dramabox, holland village and it was a bloody scorching hot day.
and i was supposed to go to ntu too. but didn't. couldn't. wouldn't.
sleep. now.

咩世界來ga?!

because it's term time, i spend most of my days around clementi and boon lay.

this is clementi :

this is boon lay :


i am living in a world of construction.
help.

Faizal's got talent

he made these for his stop-motion class :


they are damn cute i tell you.
and even cuter when animated on video pulling out their bloody eyeballs and doing random handstands.
of wallace and gromit standard man.
i'm so amazed by him.
this is faizal bothiar :


and me?
my day-to-day productivity was getting so low that i decided to ftw yesterday and played sims all day long.
today i finished more of the new media project and did half the compositing.
(for non-film-industry-people : compositing = putting funky special effects to your film)
it's much easier than i thought. thanks to boo who taught me how to use the 8 point garbage matte in fcp.
almost done...
bloody asian film history quiz tomorrow...
but fuck it i want to play sims again. now.
(cos these games are always the most fun when you shouldn't be playing them)

Anorexise

anorexise
anorexise
anorexise
love ya.

Post-tantrum :

in the end i didn't purchase a thing.
went down to dramabox's prop store and borrowed the sari/goldaccessories/toyhammer for free.
(gosh i love dramabox like mad)
then met susie for dinner/shopping/dessert and we did that from 7pm till 12am.
i am a procrastinator and i am procrastinating.

A tantrum :

why does my list of things to do never ever end?
why do i wake up every day knowing that my list of things to do is not going to end today?
grrr.
i do like having things to do. more so than not having things to do.
but this spate of consecutive things to do has gone on for too long.
every single bloody day packed from wake till sleep. weekends irrelevent.
grrr.
my own bloody fault for being so greedy for money.
grrr...

but i know that given a choice i would still do it all over again.
because i need money.
and i did manage to earn a smile-inducing sum of money from all this madness.
so why am i complaining?
i should just stop being an ungrateful brat and just do!!!
ommm...

here's what i did yesterday :
1. passed russell the final edit everyman performance dvd.
2. finished fathers docu utterly. it's final title is Sardine Talks To Children.

here's what i have to do today :
1. do fathers docu presentation slides.
2. buy sari, garland, gold accesories, toy hammer for that spatial project presentation this fri.

here's what i have to do after today :
1. meet spatial project groupmates.
2. do spatial project final presentation.
3. do docu project final presentation.
4. do scott's bloody 2 short films with compositing (faints)
5. edit the iro video!!! (faints and doesn't want to get up)
6. check the discover europe video and make sure all the important faces are in. (faints again)
7. asian film history quiz. (what for?)
8. asian film history exam. (what for?)
9. singapore society exam. (what for?)
worse : all these have to be done before 21st november.
that gives me exactly 2 weeks.
what the fuck right? what the fuck.

here's what i want to do after 21st november :
1. play sims.
2. play super mario.
3. do laundry. (my clothing options are now either what i wore 8 weeks ago or what i haven't worn in the past 8 years.)
4. change my bedsheets.
5. pack and disinfect my bedroom and toilet.
6. spend a long langorious afternoon/evening/dawn hanging aimlessly with my long-neglected friends.
7. get massaged.
8. just be horizontal and mind-blank for a day.

i have other purposeful things to do after that before i leave for hong kong.
but let's not even think about those now shall we.
alright off to buy sari/garland/goldaccesories/toyhammer i go.

Baobao's 1st short film shoot

was today from 2pm till 1am.
i helped her act as a "social escort" for a bit.
but for the most part was the dp/camerawoman and filming advisor.
i had fun.
here's me and goh seok ai before dinner break :

Actually...

其實我嘅 documentary project 真係有d 恐怖。
頭先見咗之後，有d uncomfortable，有d 想哭。
所以其實，我嘅世界真係有d 恐怖。

Post-contemplation

thinking about what i said to my professor yesterday, it suddenly dawns on me that i am like her.
i am to them what she is to me.
we are the same.
nothing is happening.
so i don't deserve to despise her for it.

Stunned

was my professor when i showed him the first cut of my documentary project today.
possibly even marginally utterly shell-shocked.
then he became concerned.
held me back after my classmates left the room and told me so :
i would think it to be unbearable for me, he said.
then he gave me a fat paragraph of advice.
which i found myself arguing against.
and in defending i realised :
i do care for you.
no matter what i do care for you.
in spite of what i still care for you.
i even told him in words that i love you.
and bloody hell just because.
i am doomed.
and now also concerned.
1. that i am caring for you
2. that i am still going to let this docu be screened
but these 2 things feel separate to me.
the situation and you as a person.
though i know they are not.
i need to contemplate this silently.

I heart globalisation

been busy this week shooting footage for the iro exchange video (amongst gazillion other things).
today i shot tyeisha from the us, pictured above, and waikwan from hong kong.
tuesday i shot phillip from switzerland and rebecca from the us.
i'm going to sound like a bumpkin saying this but:
tyeisha's the first black person i've ever had a proper conversation with.
and i realised i dig black people.
love the way they speak the way they express themselves the way they are just so sexy.
black people are art.

Happy halloweeeen...

dr thio li-ann is the scariest most repulsive monster i've heard speak in a long time.
she said in parliament:
"Homosexuality is a gender identity disorder; there are numerous examples of former homosexuals successfully dealing with this...While difficult, change is possible and a compassionate society would help those wanting to fulfill their heterosexual potential. There is hope."
"While we cherish racial and religious diversity, sexual diversity is a different kettle of fish. Diversity is not license for perversity."
"We should not be subject to the tyranny of the undemocratic minority who want to violate our consciences, trample on our cherished moral virtues and threaten our collective welfare by imposing homosexual dogma on right-thinking people."
oh.
so let us keep our consciences, our moral virtues and protect our collective welfare by embracing persecution.
because right-thinking people know that a heterosexual life is the only type of life anybody should be allowed to live.
definitely.

(if this woman lives on as a nominated mp then there definitely is something very wrong with our society.)